From The Scriptures: 1

This, I say, is a confession

Or, a declaration

To myself, and to you, my reader

I am slowly turning into nothing:

No thoughts, no provocations, no urges

And no stimulation;

Just go on doing things that matter ---

Or maybe they don’t!

But I’m keen on finishing things that start

All things that started must finish at some point

And the finishing line will push itself onward,

It’d want to converge someday

Into eternity, into madness

Into a sublime territory of coloured nothingness

Then, at the turn of midnight or midday

Or at dusk, or at dawn

Or at some other unnamed unnoticed casual hour of the day

The chaos will find itself contained in supreme calmness.

Poems

1

Let’s put all the blame on you for once

And let my brain take rest.

For a moment,

Let’s check what thoughts an empty head can bear

To blame you, or not?

Ah this mad, mad world

And its crazy people;

All o’ them love it

Everybody wants to go out and scream

Everybody wants the excitement, even I myself want it

So bad;

And then when I finally have it between my two hands,

It leaves me so depressed.

2

A frail body, a weak mind

With an even weaker will---

That’s what I am given

To face it all with and remain still

It’s so damn hard, oh mother

I can’t bear it, I can’t pretend

To be strong; I can’t pretend

To be sweet; I can’t pretend

To be a man the way you want it

3

What I am, I am

What you are, you are

And you might change

In years to come

When you will not be so young anymore.

I might change, too

I might grow older

And have a house;

Have a place of my own,

A room to seek rest after a long day

What will not change, what will remain the same

As it is now

Is a part in you and in me---

Where we keep our regrets

Where we bury our old selves

4

Love undefined

Is a bittersweet song

With a winding tune

And a happy refrain;

Echoing through unsatisfied hearts

And reflected in wine untouched

5

These days I wake up with my heart pounding

And I don’t remember any of my nightmares

Tomorrow I will wake up again

With a heart beating very, very fast

I don’t know why

Why I am feeling this bottomless pain

Utter a million words that do not make any sense

Smile without an effect and deny my presence

I can feel a strong but subtle resistance

I quit this game. I stand on the sideline

And I want to play. I want to see it to the very end

It is dark. It is cold. A kiss still feels so warm on my skin.

Blood rushing up your breasts, to turn your skin scarlet

I’ll lick off the blood and savour it around my tongue

Swings me up and down, this wave

Take me gently into your grave.

6

That which is not to be attained

By desirous hearts and thirsty lips;

That which is outside the boundary

Of tangled arms and mingling bodies…

You know what to call it

Choose a name.

The Walls in My Land

The walls are trashed with posts

And they all demand an answer

Whichever direction I look

I see questions, but not one answer.

Is there no one, no one at all who can stand up

And state things as they are?

Is everybody trying to hide

Behind the questions they put up?

My country, you have thrown your soul

Into the dark waters of Ganges

People sink deeper beneath people;

And this land will sink too, leaving no trace.

Oh I Wish

Oh I wish it so much
That love could be without
Lines, directions, destinations;
Yes, I wish it was true
That we could spend the nights
In whispers, or maybe
Without speaking at all
With our eyes and lips doing all the work
As my fingers walk
On your shoulder
Through your hair
On the moonlit skin, so fair!



Now the stars are all falling
And i am on the floor, crawling
Don't you know how hard it is
To smile and smooth out the crease
Life is so very funny, you see
When you want to go, you ain't free
And after you make a wish for something
To happen, you wish you wished nothing. Nothing at all.

A Song For My Lover

Ah let me see You

For long,
Let me look at Your face
And say nothing at all
I don't wanna kiss You now;
I'll only look at You
And say nothing.

Let me see
How You blush
When i look at You like this
How You try to hide
Behind Your eyelashes
And how those lines
Form dimples when You smile

I wanna see You smile
For ever, and ever afterwards
I wanna look at You
At Your smiling lips, for a long time
For a very long time
As long as this world lasts
As long as my heart can bear it
As long as it takes
To be born again---
And oh! If I ever get back
If i ever have to walk this floor
Once more,
I'd like to come
Just to count
The sweet beads of sweat on Your face.